i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
