love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
