video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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