you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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