Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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