i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
