Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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