Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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