so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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