there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Can I color on your dick again?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
