it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
