im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
