So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
