Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
