Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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