we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
