I wish i was in the wii world.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
