i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't deserve a penis
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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