Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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