dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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