u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
