did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
