i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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