New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
