why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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