He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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