we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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