I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
