the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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