There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
