yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
