i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
