i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
