I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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