ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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