There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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