He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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