Soap is not a condiment
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
