i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
