on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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