3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
