i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
