did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
