i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
