Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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