vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
