Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
