There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
