I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
