i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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