I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
